My first exposure to Reiki was in May 2019. A friend had offered me a Reiki session and I almost said no out of embarrassment. At the time, I was experiencing abdominal pain and I was afraid I’d pass gas or something and humiliate myself. Fortunately, I said yes.

After only twenty minutes of Reiki, the abdominal pain was gone.

Two months later, I started Reiki training.

Learning Reiki took patience and practice. A daily meditation practice made all of the difference in my growth. Through meditation, I became comfortable with stillness. I became more comfortable with myself.

Reiki is real. It is also invisible.

In the early days, I wished that I could see Reiki energy. Then, a few years ago, I began to sketch, intuitively. The Reiki vibration loves color.

My sketches are not intended to represent Reiki visually. Instead, I sketch the energy that I feel in my hands 🙌 when Reiki is flowing. The energy comes to life through my colored pencils on paper.

I am grateful.

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A recent study on mental health and well-being indicates that after a single Reiki session, patient ratings of

• Pain, fatigue, anxiety, stress, sadness, and agitation were significantly lower; and

• Happiness, energy levels, relaxation, and calmness were significantly higher.

What’s involved?

Highly customized to each person’s individual needs, private Reiki sessions are designed with specific focus on the client’s intentions. Each session starts with an informal conversation between you (the client) and Lori Heinsman (the Reiki Master / provider).

• Approach: Each session (approximately 90 minutes) is personalized using the approach below:

  • 10+ min - conversation re: intentions; energy clearing & grounding

  • 60 min - Reiki session designed specifically for client; may include aligning chakras, releasing stuck energy and patterns that no longer serve, and visualization of energy flow

  • 10+ min - integration and sharing the experience

• Fee: $150 for 90 minute session

• Location: The Reiki is transmitted at a distance — each of us can be anywhere in the world. Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable. Bring some water (for drinking), blanket or wrap (for comfort) and a journal/pen (optional).

• Next steps:

  • Review the Cancellation Policy & Consent and Release below.

  • Click the green button to schedule your session.

  • Need a time that is not listed on the calendar? Send an email to lori@oldgrateful.com and we’ll look at calendars together.

Book a Private Reiki Session Now

“Hey Lori! The session I had with you really feels like a turning point. I feel more settled in my body. I slept so soundly last night. Thank you so much!!” LG

Important, please review:

Upon clicking the scheduling buttons above, the Consent and Release information and the Cancellation Policy details are contained within the online flow of completing the appointment. By submitting the form to schedule services, clients confirm understanding and acceptance. For readability and client convenience, each of these releases are presented below.

1. Cancellation Policy: To maintain consistent and high-quality services for all of our clients, we offer a one-time schedule change if requested (and confirmed) at least 24 hours in advance of an appointment or training course. The one-time change is offered as a courtesy at no additional cost. The changed date must occur within a 21-day window from the originally scheduled date. No-shows and late cancellations are not refunded.

2. Consent and Release: I understand that Reiki services, Reiki training courses, and shamanic mentoring, coaching and workshops (herein referred to as, “services”) provided by Lori Heinsman (herein, “provider”) involve natural methods of energy balancing and defining intentions. I understand that the services provided by provider are not substitutes for veterinary, medical or psychological diagnosis and treatment.

   I certify that I voluntarily elect to receive services provided by Lori Heinsman of IntelliGRACS Group, Inc. doing business as Old Grateful, an assumed business name registered with the state of North Carolina (herein, “Company”). Any application of recommendations and all participation is at my discretion. I or my representative(s) agree to fully release and hold harmless provider and Company from and against any and all claims or liability. I acknowledge that provider and Company have made no promises to me as to the outcome of Reiki and/or other services.

   I understand that provider does not diagnose conditions or perform veterinary or medical treatment. I understand provider is not a veterinarian, medical doctor, licensed counselor or medical provider and has not represented herself in that manner.

   I have read this release in its entirety and agree to its terms. I understand that by accepting this release I am waiving and releasing considerable future legal rights. I verify that I am 18 years of age or older and mentally competent to enter into this release. I accept this release freely and voluntarily, under no duress or threat of duress, without inducement, promise, or guarantee being communicated to me. I acknowledge that by submitting this form to schedule services with provider, I am verifying that I agree with the above mentioned and it is clearly understood by me.

   ---

   Want to know more before scheduling?

   Book an Intro Consultation (15 min)

   ---

When it comes to caring for our own bodies, it’s tough to beat the ease and convenience of self-Reiki; it is simple to learn and Old Grateful™ offers all levels of Reiki training in relaxed, online workshops that are clear, compact, and powerful.

The scheduling buttons below provide available calendar options for private Reiki training courses, affordably priced per person. (See Footnote #1, below.)

Learn Reiki Level 1 🙌 Activate your hands!

Learning Reiki is surprisingly intuitive and simple. Each student receives a Reiki attunement that awakens Reiki energy in their 🙌 hands, activating a self-care ability that lasts a lifetime.

Reiki is accessible to everyone.

Course topics include the following:

• What is Reiki (& what it’s not)

• History of Reiki

• Key concepts and benefits

• Clearing and grounding your own energy

• Reiki Level 1 Energy Attunement

• Importance of intention

• Overview of chakras

• Reiki Precepts and next steps

What’s included with the course:

• Reiki Level 1 Certificate

• USUI SHIKI RYOHO Lineage Certificate

• Electronic download of Reiki Level 1 presentation (pdf)

• Access to 4 weeks of ongoing discussion and Q&A via a participant-only chat group

Teacher: Lori Heinsman, Reiki Master Teacher (RMT), was trained in USUI SHIKI RYOHO Reiki in the lineage of Reiki founder, Mikao Usui.

• More fun to learn with a friend? We think so too. Please refer to Footnote #1 below.

• The Cancellation Policy appears on the course booking calendar and in Footnote #2 below.

• Consent and Release appears on the course booking calendar and is reflected in Footnote #3 below.

Learn More / Schedule 🙌 LEVEL 1 🙌

Learn Reiki Level 2 🌀 Distance, Intentions & Symbols

Students learn Reiki symbols for transmitting Reiki over distances of time and space. Also known as Second Degree Reiki training and attunement.

Course topics include the following:

• Look-back on Reiki Level 1

• Energy hygiene & use of “sway test”

• Reiki Level 2 Energy Attunement

• Symbols for Reiki Level 2

• Reiki for Animals & Plants

• Intention and practice

[NOTE: Reiki Level 1 is a prerequisite to the Level 2 course.]

What’s included with the course:

• Reiki Level 2 Certificate

• USUI SHIKI RYOHO Lineage Certificate

• Electronic download of Reiki Level 2 presentation (pdf)

• Access to 4 weeks of ongoing discussion and Q&A via a participant-only chat group

Teacher: Lori Heinsman, Reiki Master Teacher (RMT), was trained in USUI SHIKI RYOHO Reiki in the lineage of Reiki founder, Mikao Usui.

$100 per person, 90 minute workshop.

• More fun to learn with a friend? We think so too. Please refer to Footnote #1 below.

• The Cancellation Policy appears on the course booking calendar and is reflected in Footnote #2 below.

• Consent and Release appears on the course booking calendar and is reflected in Footnote #3 below.

Learn More / Schedule 🌀Level 2🌀

Reiki Level 3 🐦‍🔥 Mastery

Develop mastery and qualify to teach Reiki to others. This level offers two learning options:

• (1) Reiki Master - for those who wish to practice but NOT teach or attune others, $100, 2 hour training/workshop

• (2) Reiki Master Teacher (RMT) - for those who wish to practice AND teach and attune others, $100, Directed study & preparation of RMT training materials (prerequisite: Reiki Master)

Teacher: Lori Heinsman, Reiki Master Teacher (RMT), was trained in USUI SHIKI RYOHO Reiki in the lineage of Reiki founder, Mikao Usui. Please email lori@oldgrateful.com for scheduling.

• The Cancellation Policy appears on the course booking calendar and is reflected in Footnote #2 below.

• Consent and Release appears on the course booking calendar and is reflected in Footnote #3 below.

Want to know more before scheduling?

Book an Intro Consultation (15 min)

Footnotes:

1. More fun to learn with a friend? We accommodate online training courses for friend/family groups. The appointment booking form automatically books the time on the training calendar once one person has registered and paid the $100 fee. If additional participants wish to join the same time block with you, please reach out directly to Lori@OldGrateful.com for registration details.

2. Cancellation Policy: To maintain consistent and high-quality services for all of our clients, we offer a one-time schedule change if requested (and confirmed) at least 24 hours in advance of an appointment or training course. The one-time change is offered as a courtesy at no additional cost. The changed date must occur within a 21-day window from the originally scheduled date. No-shows and late cancellations are not refunded.

3. Consent and Release: I understand that Reiki services, Reiki training courses, and shamanic mentoring, coaching and workshops (herein referred to as, “services”) provided by Lori Heinsman (herein, “provider”) involve natural methods of energy balancing and defining intentions. I understand that the services provided by provider are not substitutes for veterinary, medical or psychological diagnosis and treatment.

   I certify that I voluntarily elect to receive services provided by Lori Heinsman of IntelliGRACS Group, Inc. doing business as Old Grateful, an assumed business name registered with the state of North Carolina (herein, “Company”). Any application of recommendations and all participation is at my discretion. I or my representative(s) agree to fully release and hold harmless provider and Company from and against any and all claims or liability. I acknowledge that provider and Company have made no promises to me as to the outcome of Reiki and/or other services.

   I understand that provider does not diagnose conditions or perform veterinary or medical treatment. I understand provider is not a veterinarian, medical doctor, licensed counselor or medical provider and has not represented herself in that manner.

   I have read this release in its entirety and agree to its terms. I understand that by accepting this release I am waiving and releasing considerable future legal rights. I verify that I am 18 years of age or older and mentally competent to enter into this release. I accept this release freely and voluntarily, under no duress or threat of duress, without inducement, promise, or guarantee being communicated to me. I acknowledge that by submitting this form to schedule services with provider, I am verifying that I agree with the above mentioned and it is clearly understood by me.

In the distance, I see older children standing in the water and playing with a ball.

While I have the impression that the lake is shallow, I cautiously acclimate to the water, staying near the reeds and plants at the edge.

As I gain confidence, I gradually descend into the water. Each step feels empowering. I’m no longer the small child who nearly drowned in a pool at a church function.

I feel the warm sunlight on my arms and shoulders.

I remember my mother’s instruction to stay near the big kids so they can look after me. The big kids are still far into the lake. I don’t think they’ve noticed me. I make my way toward them.

And then it happens, the step into nothingness. Disorienting, deep nothingness. I kick my feet and swing my arms. The water feels colder.

No air.

Do the big kids see me drowning? I’m thrashing as hard as I can.

I open my eyes to dark, cloudy water. My chest is tight with fear. My lungs panic. This can’t wait. I am small and need help. Am I splashing?

No air. No air.

I touch something that feels like soil. Am I at the bottom of the lake? I’ve lost all sense of direction.

My hands claw at the soil as I move like a frantic crayfish. I reach mud. I lift my head into the air.

I gasp. My need for air is terrifying and humiliating. The gasps make choking noises that transition into heaving sobs. Sobbing is better: I have experience in controlling the sounds of sobbing.

I rest on the shore and quiet my breathing. I look around. The big kids continue their play, noticing nothing. I clean away the mud from my body. My eyes feel scratchy. I blink away the tears, then I stand and walk away.

—

This childhood memory replayed for days until my mind made sense of the meaning:

• Grief feels like a sudden drop into deep, cold water.

• Grief is disorienting and brings murky darkness and shock.

• Grief extracts all air.

• And, it’s time to act. To find the ground. To crawl into the light.

—

On March 20, 2026 — the spring equinox — our beloved Cuddle Biscuit passed away quietly after having her absolute best day.1

These two weeks have felt like drowning. Drowning in the air. Drowning in my skin. Just dry and drowning.

In grief, drowning has a simple purity. Sobbing and gasping for air is primitive and familiar. Recognizable. Individual. I allowed the bleak emptiness to take over. Sunlight felt wrong, somehow.

Soothing, cold pints of ice cream give temporary relief to the emptiness. Tangy salt & vinegar potato chips dull the pain. Carbs bring escape and sleep. I awaken feeling sluggish and puffy. Inside my skin, all of this makes sense. It’s dark in here and the extra weight keeps me at the bottom. My mind lacks sharpness. Mental clarity isn’t needed down here. I dull my mind further, eating the whole bag and wanting more.

—

Acceptance. Impermanence. Gratitude. These words provided solace. They cushioned the pain of drowning.

Gardening? Writing? My rituals seemed self-serving. I put them off. Until now.

—

The full body memory of drowning shook me into a sluggish readiness. Like song lyrics, I imagine this memory playing on repeat in my my mind was a nudge from my guardian angel who nourishes and guides my path.

Yesterday I stepped into the sunlight and put my hands in the soil. The asparagus bed needed spring cleanup and weeding. As I gently pulled away the fluffy layer of leaves that had cushioned the plants from the winter cold and snow, I found asparagus buds emerging from the soil and reaching through the leaves to find the light.

All of this hurts. Stepping into the sunlight doesn’t release me from grieving. Instead, the sun is softening my body and slowing my breathing. The underlying fight-or-flight response (so foundational that I had not realized it was there) fades as I breathe, pull weeds, and prepare the soil for planting and nourishing new life. I give myself permission to live while grieving.

I am grateful.

FYI - I ask for input at the end of the video. Please feel free to share (below or via direct message) your questions, special requests, and overall thoughts on energy clearing.

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GOOD NEWS FOR YOU: Renew Your Vibe videos can be replayed as often as you like so it’s cool for you to run your favorites on repeat.

PERSONAL NOTE (from Lori): I’m really uncomfortable being on video. I am overwhelmed by the difference between what I envision in my head and what I see on the screen. (It’s tough to NOT compare myself to all of the gorgeous people sharing reels on socials.) Today’s video is not edited … and I’m proud of myself for publishing “as is” today.1 Also, I’m not giving up.

CAUTION:

If you’re concerned about balance, feeling dizzy, using a walking stick/cane/crutches, et al., do not use the sway test as described in the video. Instead, wait for tomorrow’s video which covers the sway test while sitting in a chair. Also, remember a few points from the video:

• Wear sensible shoes, such as those Lori wore today (pictured);

• Stand on level ground. Never do a sway test on a slope, stairs, or any terrain that is unsafe for swaying; and

• Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and with toes pointing forward.

Thank You.

Thanks for joining today. Please ❤️, 💬 & 📣: each interaction shows Substack this content is useful.

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Renew Your Vibe steps shared to-date:

• Step 1: Claim your energy field

• Step 2: Set intention(s)

• Step 3: Brush away debris

• Step 4: Ask our body: am I clear? ← today’s topic

• Also / always: Express gratitude

I’m posting a video in draft status today because I believe in these commitments I made to myself:

• Publishing energy clearing content daily;

• Not yielding to the part of me who fears the camera because of the body judgment of (potentially unkind) people; and

• Handling the recording and editing myself (learning new skills).

What’s wrong with this version?

The 4th and final step of the foundational Renew Your Vibe practice is my favorite. It’s exciting to learn about asking our body a question and getting an answer. This video version does not do the topic justice (in my opinion) … it’s missing answers to important questions1 (and maybe I should tuck in my shirt).

Thank You.

Thanks for joining today. Please ❤️, 💬 & 📣: each interaction shows Substack this content is useful.

Leave a comment

Share

Renew Your Vibe steps shared to-date:

• Step 1: Claim your energy field

• Step 2: Set intention(s)

• Step 3: Brush away debris

• Step 4: Ask our body: am I clear? ← today’s topic

• Also / always: Express gratitude

Renew Your Vibe steps shared to-date:

• Step 1: Claim your energy field

• Step 2: Set intention(s)

• Step 3: Brush away debris ← today’s topic

Also:

Today’s video is super quick … partly in exchange for yesterday’s video being a smidge long and partly because the gratitude section was missing sound somehow. (Lesson learned to test the recordings before wrapping up.)

This means you’re on your own for the gratitude step today … put your hands on your heart, take a few cleansing breaths, and express gratitude (three times).

Thanks for watching, and extra thanks to folks who heart, comment and share.

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Take care & see you tomorrow! - Lori

Maybe hubris. Or self-consciousness. Or hoping special effects will distract viewers from my noticeable discomfort with being on camera?

Whatever my underlying motivations for the fancy animated graphics, background audio to help the transitions appear seamless, and splicing out my weird facial expressions, I made this tiny video (about 3 mins) so bloated that it is crashing my machine.

Totally over-engineered. I know better.

So, this is me coming clean about my need for a do-over. Renew Your Vibe will roll out tomorrow … this time with the energy it was meant to have all along: relaxed and grounding and clean.

Not fussy.

What was I thinking? A fussy video is not me.

In the end, I am grateful my laptop crashed under the weight of it all.

Tomorrow will be lighter.

🙏

NOTE: The vibe renew videos are free for everyone. Paid subscribers get extras like 🐦‍🔥Reiki Recharge™ energy during the vibe renew and anytime on-demand.1

First, let’s understand the current state:

1. Close your eyes and imagine a quiet, isolated beach. Your body is the beach.

2. Open your eyes and read on …

When you saw the beach in your imagination, did you see a clear coastline? Or was the shore marred with litter, such as plastic pollution clinging to the sand?

Our bodies are the beach (in this metaphor). The tide may bring organic material … like driftwood and seashells … and then carry some of it away. People may bring toys and towels that get buried in the sand. The wind brings lightweight plastics and more.

Learning that energy debris clings to people like debris collects on beaches helped me notice the moments when (looking back) I had picked up energy that wasn’t mine to carry.

Do any of these seem familiar to you?

• You spent time at an event that felt smarmy and the vibe affected the rest of your day (and maybe longer)?

• You notice yourself feeling irritable and you’re not sure why?

• You were having a pretty good day, then you walked into a conference room where the energy felt “off” and almost instantly you felt brain foggy and had trouble getting it together?

The examples above describe true-to-life moments when I had picked up energy debris. And, until I learned how to brush it off, the debris stayed with me and grew heavier and heavier.

So, what can be done about it?

Good news: it’s surprisingly simple.

Now let’s envision the future state:

• Your vibe is your own and you feel energetically healthy. Using the metaphor, your beach is clean.

• When you sense a shift in your energy and you wonder if you’ve picked up some debris, you know how to clear it away and refresh your energy field.2

• Your vibe is YOUR vibe. You use what you’ve learned to clear away energy that holds you back, interferes with your flow and/or clouds your vibe.

Ready to renew your vibe?

FANTASTIC. We start on Sunday, February 1, 2026. I’ll post a daily video to Old Grateful’s “Renew Your Vibe 🐦‍🔥” section and on Substack Notes.3

In each video, you’ll see me (Lori) clearing my own energy field. Here’s what to expect:

• Lori standing up, guiding the group in setting intentions, stretching her arms, releasing invisible debris, and connecting her energy to the earth (grounding).

• You’ll follow the steps demonstrated in the video, so you’ll need space where you can stand up, stretch your arms, and be yourself. If you’re concerned about looking silly (understandable), maybe plan to be alone the first few times.

• The process takes 5 minutes or less. The video duration may be a bit longer to allow time for answering questions (submitted online) and providing additional context.

Remember, you are in control. Your vibes. Your intentions. Your decisions. The vibe renew steps are those I use to clear my own energy — they’re offered here to help you navigate the process and proceed at your own pace.4

The vibe renew videos are free so watch them as often as you like.

See you on February 1!

Smoke on the water / Fire in the sky.1

She is so much more than the angel who sent a kind stranger to help me when my car ran out of gas on an dark, isolated country road (which happened) when I was in college in Tennessee. She is also my confidant and life navigator who has helped me find my path.

She speaks to me in song lyrics. She plays them on repeat until I notice what I’m humming. I love this approach. It feels playful and uniquely personal.

Now, the day bleeds into nightfall.2

I pause and notice the words. Instantly, I feel the place in my life that holds the song. I am transported and comforted. Seen. Understood. My guardian angel gets me.

This is new.

Using the words comfort and guardian angel in the same thought is new to me. Growing up, I was told my guardian angel judged me and only helped out if I was following the rules. Mom often reinforced that my guardian angel would protect me ONLY if I was worthy. (Mom likely meant well.)

For example, I was told that going into a movie theater was a sin and my guardian angel would not follow if I walked into the theater. She would stay just outside of the doors and cry because of my decision to enter. If I needed her support during the movie, bummer for me.

The judgment was difficult for my young, free spirit.

During my teens, I wondered if my guardian angel was still nearby. I had hoped she was. And, looking back on some close encounters, I am certain she was with me. Yet, because of the if statement, our relationship faded with each decision to dance, read a novel, or open an extra button on my blouse.

I reconnected with my guardian angel while studying shamanism.

Studying shamanism has enriched my life and expanded my awareness. Also, unexpectedly, shamanism reconnected me with my guardian angel.

During the past six years of sensing, learning, and being me while living within a new mindset, I developed an appreciation of the extraordinary energies around me. The vibe that I recognize as my guardian angel — a strong, loving, unconditionally accepting energy — has been with me throughout life.

In the context of shamanism, she is a presence called a spirit guide who helps me find my path, provides nudges to help me steer in the optimum direction, and … as mentioned in the title … she sends me song lyrics! I call her 🍋.3 She is funny, pragmatic, patient and creative.

Did 🍋 sign up for double duty as spirit guide and guardian angel? Or are these roles assigned by humans to make sense of the spirit world and they’re simply synonyms?

She has been with me since birth. She knows my history.

The songs bring up memories … and sometimes the memory is the message. When I notice that I’m humming “Amazing Grace”,4 I remember Saturday afternoons with Baba and Jaja at a local nursing home playing for the residents. Baba would lead us children in song while Jaja played the accordion.

When a resident wanted to sing along, I would bring them a hymnal (part of my role as the oldest grandchild in the singing group). At times, we’d see a resident with tears and Baba would reach out and hold their hand. Perhaps Baba was sent by the resident’s guardian angel to bring needed empathy, connection and support.

Baba was kind and strong. I imagine my guardian angel sent me this memory to help bolster my own strength.

Loosen my grip.

Her message for me today was delivered by SIXX:A.M….

Maybe it’s time to heal, maybe it’s time to try / Maybe it’s time to deal with all the pieces in my life.5

She knows me and her guidance is so confirming and clear in Lori life. I need to loosen my grip.

No surprise, this song is 🍋’s third attempt to reach me on this point. (I’ve asked her to reach out to me at least three times if I do not receive the message the first time.)

Well, to be fair, the message was received each time … I just was afraid to take action.

1. A few weeks ago, I heard the words in my mind: Loosen your grip. I knew the message was for me … and I think I jotted the statement down somewhere. And then lost sight of it … maybe on purpose. Loosening my grip is scary.

2. The same three-word message came through during a meditation retreat I attended on Sunday: Loosen my grip. This time I know I wrote it down and even shared with the group. I called it an intention and I meant it at the time. That was two days ago. Since then my grip has been doing the usual. Really, who am I without my grip?

3. Today, the lyrics from SIXX:A.M. reached me and I kinda did an “oh crap” sigh because I need to loosen my grip. I am holding onto something too tightly. I know the song is meant for me. I feel its encouragement. Maybe it’s time.

Thank you 🍋 for not giving up on delivering this message. I’m handing my grip to Wild Boar (more on this in a future post … you’re going to love how Wild Boar gets us through). I am grateful.

How would you describe your guardian angel?

Truly, how would you describe your guardian angel? Does she speak to you in song lyrics? Messages in the clouds?

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If Old Grateful™ by Lori Heinsman has been helpful to you and you’d like to help support my work, you can subscribe using the button below. Thank you!

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The text message from my brother shook me a bit.

I felt shock. I heard myself say “No” out loud.

In my head, the word repeated over and over. No. No. No.

The repetition made no practical sense (the brilliant playwright was already gone), yet repeating No No No felt right to me. As if the moment to say No had passed and somehow I missed it. As if saying it now would somehow help.

Tom Stoppard’s play, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, gave me my favorite quote that, over time, also became my personal refrain when sussing out root cause and/or lessons learned: “There must have been a moment, at the beginning, where we could have said no. But somehow we missed it.”1

During my consulting days, I’d jot down a few questions in my notebook and then listen for the answers during all manner of discussions about what went wrong. The questions below were always included in the mix:

• Where could we have said No (but somehow we missed it)?

• Did we say No at some point, but we could have said it sooner?

Sometimes the answers were easy to see. Other times, it took some digging. Always, the exercise was valuable.

Why is this coming up today?

• Because the refrain has been continuously playing in my head since I learned of Tom Stoppard’s death. Because I am grateful for his work.

• Because I am grateful for my brother who knows me / who sees me / who wanted me to hear it from him vs. the news.

• Because I am not the person I was when I studied this play in college and I am grateful for this moment of reflection and reminder that life is choices. Life is decisions.

• Because I’ve learned the peace that comes from No.

I am grateful.

Ordinarily, I am grateful for health and relationships on Thanksgiving Day … the sort of gratitude suitable for discussing at the table.1 And holiday dinner conversations are like hugs. Ordinarily.

Thanksgiving in 2025 feels different from prior years. I feel the wrecking ball that is swinging through our civil liberties and environmental protections. I feel deeply disappointed by brazen abuses of power. Daily.

Current events are relentless and triggering. Children trafficked, used and silenced. Their abusers dismissive and protected behind smokescreens and privilege.

Some days, the world is too much.2

So, I offer this heartfelt public service announcement on behalf of people everywhere: please, know that we’re all hurting. Emotions are close to the surface. The world is too much. Even simple words can feel triggering. Even in the form of a joke — especially in the form of a joke.

Please be kind to each other.

Will the world be at the dinner table on Thanksgiving this year?

Gosh, I hope not.

I imagine that I’m not the only person who has a twinge of fear about someone bringing up wrecking ball topics in social settings … particularly when my guard is down and I am feeling safe among my people.

I have a story … the topic is wrecking ball adjacent. I’m not proud of my reaction. And that’s part of the learning.

The most recent dinner table trigger happened this summer over ice cream cake. A story about two family dogs and a sexually transmitted infection (STI) was told by someone who innocently3 thought it was hilarious: a small, male dog had humped the leg of a large, female dog and ended up with a so-called STI.

The story hit my muscle memory and I knew it. I should have walked away in that moment.

That’s not funny, I said.

The storyteller, insisting it was hilarious, doubled-down and rephrased: Jolene GAVE Little Finger an STI.4

It’s not funny, I maintained. None of this is Jolene’s fault.

You don’t get it, he said.

I think he explained some more. I remember being confused and disappointed. I sensed a building-up of frustration. (Another moment when I could have put down my ice cream cake and walked away.)

No, YOU don’t get it.

(I spoke emphatically, focusing on word choice.)

Jolene did not GIVE anything. Jolene’s leg was humped by Little Finger … any irritation to his penis is on him.

I took a breath. The frustration-turning-into-panic was overwhelming. I continued, trying to explain by switching from dogs to people:

My leg was humped on a crowded bus in Rome and if that man had any irritation to his penis afterward, he did that to himself. I did not give him anything. He took.

The storyteller looked stunned.

When? What did you do? he asked.

I was 22. I did nothing, I said.

He looked aghast.

I froze.

He knew my history. Being frozen and silent was my learned response in childhood. It was in my muscle memory.

I said more, although I should have let it go and said nothing at all. I immediately regretted everything that I’d said.

I walked away. I think I made it to the door before I was covered in tears and shaking.

This retelling may not reflect our exact words … I was hurt, angry and stunned that someone was normalizing assault and blaming the female who simply reacted by freezing.

Later, he said something about me not understanding that he was talking about dogs.

I apologized and tried to give some context but … how could he understand, really, the deep panic that surfaces when sexual trauma is triggered?

REFLECTION:

Even now, writing about this memory is painful and difficult:

• I am not ashamed that I froze on the bus.

• I regret jumping on the storyteller. Defending Jolene’s honor was a gesture that only made sense to me.

• I know this story / this feeling / this panic keeps me in that terrible moment until I release it. I am officially releasing it now … and for this I am grateful.

THANK YOU:

Thank you for reading and engaging with Old Grateful™. I am grateful for feeling more like myself (it has been three months since the passing of my beloved Aunt Linda) and I am deeply grateful for each subscriber to this substack.

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Whether you’re supporting my work with a free or paid account, I appreciate each of you. In the coming days/weeks, changes to this substack will make engagement and receiving Reiki simpler. More soon with my thanks.

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Reiki is known to help with these common challenges:

• FOCUS » improving concentration, relieving anxiety

• WELLNESS » reducing fatigue, improving sleep, managing stress

• RESET » getting out of a slump

• BALANCE » harmonizing heart & mind for emotional balance

Many respected hospitals offer Reiki. The NIH classifies Reiki as a complementary health approach.

A recent study on mental health and well-being indicates that after a single Reiki session, patient ratings of

• Pain, fatigue, anxiety, stress, sadness, and agitation were significantly lower

• Happiness, energy levels, relaxation, and calmness were significantly higher.1

Reiki 3 ways: which is right for you?

1️⃣ PRIVATE REIKI SESSIONS

Most popular / great first step

Highly customized to each client’s individual needs, remote Reiki sessions are designed to meet the client’s intentions and to facilitate a deep energy clear & recharge with Reiki.

Through distance Reiki, the client and Lori Heinsman, Reiki Master Teacher, work together in a 90-minute restorative session. Receiving distance Reiki is known to restore calm, balance and flow … all useful when getting unstuck, improving sleep, moving forward with ease, and more.

Each portion of the remote Reiki session is designed to meet the client’s intentions. Clients enjoy the convenience of …

• Recharging in their own quiet space;

• Clearing and refocusing energy for ease and relaxation; and

• Reestablishing energy flow, chakra alignment, and overall balance.

• $150, 90 minute private session

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“Hey Lori! The session I had with you really feels like a turning point. I feel more settled in my body. I slept so soundly last night. Thank you so much!!” LG

2️⃣ REIKI RECHARGE™ ON DEMAND

Effortless access to Reiki anytime … only for subscribers!

Reiki is available to all paid subscribers to Old Grateful™ on Substack. Reiki flows automatically each week to everyone AND is transmitted anytime “on demand.”

Overarching intention: May this Reiki reach you where and when you need it the most in a way that serves your highest good.

$12/month or $120/year

3️⃣ DO IT YOURSELF (DIY) REIKI

Learn Reiki » the ability that lasts a lifetime

When it comes to caring for our own bodies, the ease and convenience of DIY self-Reiki is preferred by most everyone. Reiki is simple to learn and Old Grateful™ offers all levels of Reiki training in relaxed online workshops that are clear, compact, and powerful.

Reiki Level 1 🙌 Activate your hands!

Learn to self-Reiki and share Reiki with people, pets, plants, and more. Includes training workshop, attunement, certificate & 4 weeks of online mentoring.

$100, 90 minute workshop

Learn More / Schedule 🙌 LEVEL 1 🙌

Reiki Level 2 🌀 Distance, Intentions & Symbols

Learn to self-Reiki and share Reiki with people, pets, plants, and more. Includes training workshop, attunement, certificate & 4 weeks of online mentoring.

$100, 2 hour workshop (prerequisite: Reiki Level 1)

Learn More / Schedule 🌀Level 2🌀

Reiki Level 3 🐦‍🔥 Mastery

Develop mastery and qualify to teach Reiki to others. This level offers two learning options:

• (1) Reiki Master - for those who wish to practice but NOT teach or attune others, $100, 2 hour training/workshop

• (2) Reiki Master Teacher - for those who wish to practice AND teach and attune others, $100, 2 hour training/workshop (prerequisite: Reiki Master)

• Email lori@oldgrateful.com for details.

Want to know more before scheduling?

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Looking forward to talking with you.

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🎶

We start believin' now that we can be who we are
Grease is the word

🎶

Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion
Grease is the way we are feeling

🎶

~Frankie Valli. “Grease.” Is the Word, RSO Records, 1978.

Puzzled at first when the song began playing in my head (I hadn’t heard it in ages), I ran a search for the lyrics and noticed my earworm combined lines repeated in verses and the chorus.

Often, I receive messages from the universe via song lyrics. I put my hands on my heart and focused on my breath. A message from Aunt Linda, perhaps?

Nearly everyone in the family has had visits from Dragonfly since Aunt Linda passed away. At first, we joked in the cousin chat that seeing a Dragonfly or a FedEx truck indicates a visit from Aunt Linda. We’re no longer joking … the Dragonfly visits are uncharacteristically personal and persistent.

I asked out loud … is the music a message from you, Aunt Linda? I expected to smell garlic bread or eggplant parm. Frankie Valli wasn’t our thing.

Until now. I felt a blanket of calm. I knew she was sending me a message and I felt a clear knowing in my bones. I could hear her voice in my head: “EASE is the word, babe.”

Aunt Linda was known for adding “babe” to the end of her comments. My eyes brimmed with happy tears: she’s here. And she knows I’ve been stuck in a deep grief and feeling lost as I leapfrog from depression to acceptance to anger.

She knows.

I felt comforted and ready to understand the message.

How do I ease, Aunt Linda?

EASE is the word, babe.

Ease is the word.

OK. Sounds like it is up to me to facilitate ease into … (why not?) …

grief

gardening

chores

writing

working

everything.

Just setting the intention to infuse more ease into my life has brought me unexpected peace. Feels like a hug. Ease IS the word.

Aug 31 is Aunt Linda’s birthday.

To honor her birthday, the family will gather for Aunt Linda’s FUNeral (her word) and celebrate her life tomorrow. Seriously, we will be celebrating. Aunt Linda loved a good party and we will not disappoint her.

In addition, I will send daily Reiki to the paid subscriber group from today until September 7, the Full Moon.

Let’s all feel ease, peace, and celebrate life!

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The part of me that does not want to feel wants to mark this as something that happens when we get to a certain age.

While true, that’s not me.

For me, the pain of loss is part of loving and I want to honor that love

with more love

with action and change

with doing what matters.

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(It’s not.)

Reflecting upon the last two weeks, my common feeling is overwhelm about everything and not for reasons that make sense.

The Cleveland Clinic’s article on the five stages of grief provides helpful input and context, such as noting that the stages may not appear in an ordered sequence.

Based on the article, overwhelm falls into the depression stage … and that’s fair. Grief feels hopeless and depressing.

Yet, haven’t I been holding myself together by staying grounded and spending a lot of time outside? YES, which is how I managed to develop a nice poison ivy rash.

Ahhh, overwhelm, you’re relentless.

I considered posting a photo of my neck and hands covered in bumps, but nah, you don’t want to see all that … instead, I offer a stock photo of a poison ivy plant which is actually quite beautiful and shiny from the oils that cause this unfortunate and OVERWHELMING rash.

The rash will clear up long before Aunt Linda’s celebration of life at the end of the month. Right?

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