My empty sink

Keeping a promise to myself

My friend Lynne’s sensibilities pop up in my memory frequently. I lived with Lynne and her family for around six weeks back in the mid 1990s. Lynne somehow managed to keep her laundry room tidy. Considering my haphazard cleaning style, I asked how a clean laundry room is even possible in a home filled with kids.

“When my laundry room is clean, my mind is clear,” she said.

Hmm. I tucked away that statement for 30 years and now I get it. For me, it’s my kitchen sink.

Lori’s kitchen sink. October 2025.

Waking up to an empty kitchen sink is a prevailing life goal for me. Rather than leave you to guess how often the sink is empty in the morning, I’ll share some history from days of yore:

What I said: I will wash the *@&%* dishes before going to bed.

What I did: Feel bad about myself.

How the kitchen fared using this goal-setting method: Nothing changed.

Fast forward to days of covid when everything shifted.

What I said: I wash dishes before bed.

What I did: Run the dishwasher in the evening. Feel annoyed.

How the kitchen fared: Short-term change, then back to the usual stacks in the sink.

Now, October 2025, we celebrate real progress (pictured). Here’s why:

What I said: I enjoy the feeling of waking up to a clean sink.

What I did: Focus on what I love … eating healthy food, being with family, and caring about my morning sink. Shift my mindset and feel gratitude.

How the kitchen fared: Sustainable change in mindset and a morning sink worthy of celebration.

So … really … what made the difference?

Love. Gratitude. Focus.

So simple.

1. My intention focuses on what I WANT (vs. reluctant tasks).

   1. I want the FEELING of an empty sink in the morning.

   2. (Positivity matters. When in doubt, visualize what success looks like / feels like.)

   3. Morning is my sacred coffee and thinking time. It’s worth protecting.

2. The intention statement is in present tense. I love my soft mornings lived in the moment. I am grateful for this time. Positive and present tense.

3. The “sink love” mindset is new. AND IT WORKS. (Change is possible.)

   1. Gratitude resets my mindset every time.

   2. Really. Before, I hated the sink. Now, I look at my kitchen sink with gratitude. This sink is where I wash healthy produce. It’s where I fill the water bowl for our sweet dogs. It’s a key part of my coffee time.

I am keeping a promise to myself.

I thank Heather, my oldest friend, for the subtitle of this post. She gets me (still). I’m grateful she’s been my person since our teens.

Author’s note.

Originally, I planned to end with foreshadowing some “coming soon” announcements. Instead, let’s stay right here in the heart-space of empty sinks, deep and long-lasting friendships, and gratitude. (Love you, Lynn & Heather.)