My friend Lynne’s sensibilities pop up in my memory frequently. I lived with Lynne and her family for around six weeks back in the mid 1990s. Lynne somehow managed to keep her laundry room tidy. Considering my haphazard cleaning style, I asked how a clean laundry room is even possible in a home filled with kids.
“When my laundry room is clean, my mind is clear,” she said.
Hmm. I tucked away that statement for 30 years and now I get it. For me, it’s my kitchen sink.
Waking up to an empty kitchen sink is a prevailing life goal for me. Rather than leave you to guess how often the sink is empty in the morning, I’ll share some history from days of yore:
What I said: I will wash the *@&%* dishes before going to bed.
What I did: Feel bad about myself.
How the kitchen fared using this goal-setting method: Nothing changed.
Fast forward to days of covid when everything shifted.
What I said: I wash dishes before bed.
What I did: Run the dishwasher in the evening. Feel annoyed.
How the kitchen fared: Short-term change, then back to the usual stacks in the sink.
Now, October 2025, we celebrate real progress (pictured). Here’s why:
What I said: I enjoy the feeling of waking up to a clean sink.
What I did: Focus on what I love … eating healthy food, being with family, and caring about my morning sink. Shift my mindset and feel gratitude.
How the kitchen fared: Sustainable change in mindset and a morning sink worthy of celebration.
So … really … what made the difference?
Love. Gratitude. Focus.
So simple.
My intention focuses on what I WANT (vs. reluctant tasks).
I want the FEELING of an empty sink in the morning.
(Positivity matters. When in doubt, visualize what success looks like / feels like.)
Morning is my sacred coffee and thinking time. It’s worth protecting.
The intention statement is in present tense. I love my soft mornings lived in the moment. I am grateful for this time. Positive and present tense.
The “sink love” mindset is new. AND IT WORKS. (Change is possible.)
Gratitude resets my mindset every time.
Really. Before, I hated the sink. Now, I look at my kitchen sink with gratitude. This sink is where I wash healthy produce. It’s where I fill the water bowl for our sweet dogs. It’s a key part of my coffee time.
I am keeping a promise to myself.
I thank Heather, my oldest friend, for the subtitle of this post. She gets me (still). I’m grateful she’s been my person since our teens.
Author’s note.
Originally, I planned to end with foreshadowing some “coming soon” announcements. Instead, let’s stay right here in the heart-space of empty sinks, deep and long-lasting friendships, and gratitude. (Love you, Lynn & Heather.)